Could You Repeat The Question?

Imagine working your way through a government questionnaire and coming across this question.

Are you a member of any foreign or domestic organization, association, movement, group, or combination of persons which is totalitarian, fascist, communist, or subversive, or which has adopted, or shows a policy of advocating or approving the commission of acts of force or violence to deny other persons their rights under the Constitution of the United States, or which seeks to alter the form of Government of the U.S. by unconstitutional means?

Ignoring the obvious run-on sentence, what is the point?

If I am a member of such a group, do they honestly believe I'm going to answer yes? Or by answering no, am I under suspicion that I am lying about my response?

And what if I answer yes? Do they believe I really am a member of such a group, or do they think I'm just being a smart aleck?

Either way, I somehow feel this is just another sheet of paper in my ever-growing file in a cabinet somewhere. I had a high school friend who applied for a job with the federal government and listed me as a reference many years ago.

While I was flattered that he thought that much of me, I was a bit concerned when, while at work, I was visited by two people who flashed badges and documents showing they worked for the FBI.

Over the next couple of hours, they asked me many questions about my friend, our relationship, and what I thought he would do in the future. I guess I was supposed to psychoanalyze him, but our friendship didn't work that way.

We hung out, played in the band, enjoyed video games and lived about 3 miles from each other. Was I qualified to determine his future in the government? Could I somehow tip off the FBI that he was a subversive who was destined to become one of those people who answers 'yes' to the question?

In this age of high security and high alarm, is it even necessary to ask the question at all? Either answer probably gets your investigated.

And so does this column.

"Is this some sort of funhouse, Wonka?" "Why? Are you having fun?"

Touch 'em all with me, whether you agree with me or criticize me. I like the way you think! Tell me your opinion. Add a comment below and tell me what you think or write to me if you want to join the ever-growing e-mail list to have my column delivered right to your inbox.