Surprise Gift

Last week, I made the comment about getting my wife a tech gift. It was something she wanted and something I knew she would enjoy.

She opened it up on Valentine's Day, was shocked and happy, and happiness in the household was ensured. Plus, she really wanted one so I got the right gift.

A couple of days later, she actually opened the box. Now, understand that tech gifts like iPods are usually small and the boxes that contain them aren't that big at all.

So, imagine if you will, hearing a voice call to me from the other room, "Why are there batteries in the box?"

Batteries?? The device has an internal battery, but it isn't one that comes with batteries. In the eternal wisdom of men everywhere, I replied, "What do you mean -- batteries?"

"Come and see," she replied.

Sure enough. I walked into the room to see my wife holding an open box and 4 "D" cell batteries. Peculiar, I thought.

"Where is the iPod?" I asked.

"There isn't one," she said.

I think the only time I ever moved faster to pick up something was during baseball season, but I swooped down on the now empty box faster than an eagle on a salmon in the river.

To say I was flustered would be putting it mild. To say I was stunned would be closer.

It wasn't quite rage, but if I was Bruce Banner, I would have been turning slightly green. (If you don't understand the reference, let me know.)

Here is the picture: no iPod, 4 "D" cell batteries, no manual, no headphones and no charger -- all inside a sealed box.

I called the store where I purchased the device and explained my story to the woman who answered the phone. I had to explain it again before she transferred me to the loss control officer at the store.

After explaining it another two times, the officer told me to bring everything back to the store and they would take care of it. I have to say that I was pretty impressed with myself for not raising my voice or losing my cool despite the number of times I had to repeat my story.

I will say that the store was very nice and quickly refunded my money. They didn't have another one in stock -- I'm not sure I would have accepted it anyway -- so I went searching for another Valentine's Day gift.

I stopped at the Apple Store in the Towson Town Center, where they had plenty in stock and I got one immediately. I told them the story about what had happened and they were still laughing about it as I walked out of the store.

There isn't any witty commentary on this one. This story is so incredible that it stands on its own. And yes, the events you have just read are true. No names were changed to protect anybody.

I'm a chiphead -- not a geek. I play video games. I have cool toys. I read comics online, but not just any comics. They talk about games, cartoons and things that take my mind away from the world of news. However, this one talks about how Warner Bros. plans on updating Bugs and Daffy to make them hipper and edgier. If they hadn't "sanitized for my protection" the cartoons that I grew up with, they wouldn't have this issue. Prior planning prevents poor performance -- so does caving to "save my children because I'm too busy to do it myself" groups. "I am the Grim Reaper. I don't have too go to school."

Touch 'em all with me, whether you agree with me or criticize me. I like the way you think! Tell me your opinion. Write to me or add a comment below and tell me what you think or if you want to join the ever-growing e-mail list to have my column delivered right to your inbox.