I know you will read this column unless at this point you decide not to read it just to prove me wrong.
I predict you will scoff/laugh/cry at least once before the end of this column.
I can't tell you if you actually will scoff/laugh/cry so be sure and get angry with me if you don't.
There are very few people who make their living by predicting the future. Stock brokers, gamblers, fortunetellers and meteorologists all fall into that category.
Most of us glance at our horoscope, wonder if it will happen, totally believe in it at the end of the day if it does or dismiss it out of hand if it doesn’t. We like to think we know what is going to happen and search for someone -- anyone -- to tell us so we can feel better.
However, as hard as we search and want, we get really upset if someone we want to tell us the future is wrong. Stockbrokers and gamblers can cost us money that we "invest" with them. Fortunetellers cost us money because we pay them.
Meteorologists are a different situation. While brokers and gamblers can increase our bank accounts and fortunetellers can reassure that we are (insert prediction you want to come true), meteorologists can control very important aspects of our lives.
Recent forecasts by the National Weather Service and all the television meteorologists in the area have been predicting some sort of precipitation falling from the sky. The tricky part has been trying to decide what type of precip is falling and when it will change from one to another.
I have to admit that I listen to these guys and gals and plan my day accordingly. I also shake my head when they are off, but I never, EVER flame them. I completely understand that they are trying to predict Mother Nature -- whom I think listens to the forecasts and changes them just to mock the meteorologists.
It amazes me though how many people get so mad because their predictions don't come true. These meteorologists use their training, skill and expertise to give them the best shot at telling us what is coming down -- or not coming down.
(Let me peel back the curtain for a moment.)
Viewers often blast the meteorologists by saying something along the lines of "if I did my job like you do yours, I'd get fired." I always think, "what the heck is your job and how often are you predicting the future?"
Thinking along those lines, I want my police officers at the scene of the crime before it happens. I want road crews to fill the pothole before it is created. I want the restaurant to prepare my food before I get there and order it. I want teachers to instruct children on what they should know specifically for what they are going to do when they get out of school -- not give them skill sets to prepare them for whatever they are going to do.
Before you hit the "send" button, I am not criticizing any of those professions. I really don't expect anyone to exactly predict any of that. However, I do want police to patrol to prevent crime, road crews to fix roads that are broken, restaurants to have the foods I want and teachers to give children a good education.
I also want the meteorologists to analyze the data, use their training and give me their best shot.
And it doesn't cost me any money either. So I guess I'm getting what I pay for.
Now, if I get can get my bookie on the line in time for the World Series and find my Tarot cards...
Long time readers will notice that this is familiar territory. I also wonder why people feel compelled to write and threaten to (go to another web site/watch another station/come here and beat me up). Then, when you offer them an explaination to their complaint, they are loving, begging for forgiveness, and saying you are their favorite (web site/television show/station). Total weirdness -- but that's another rant. "No time for love, Dr. Jones!"
Touch 'em all with me, whether you agree with me or criticize me. I like the way you think! Tell me your opinion. Write to me or add a comment below and tell me what you think or if you want to join the ever-growing e-mail list to have my column delivered right to your inbox.
Monday, February 28, 2005
Monday, February 21, 2005
Surprise Gift
Last week, I made the comment about getting my wife a tech gift. It was something she wanted and something I knew she would enjoy.
She opened it up on Valentine's Day, was shocked and happy, and happiness in the household was ensured. Plus, she really wanted one so I got the right gift.
A couple of days later, she actually opened the box. Now, understand that tech gifts like iPods are usually small and the boxes that contain them aren't that big at all.
So, imagine if you will, hearing a voice call to me from the other room, "Why are there batteries in the box?"
Batteries?? The device has an internal battery, but it isn't one that comes with batteries. In the eternal wisdom of men everywhere, I replied, "What do you mean -- batteries?"
"Come and see," she replied.
Sure enough. I walked into the room to see my wife holding an open box and 4 "D" cell batteries. Peculiar, I thought.
"Where is the iPod?" I asked.
"There isn't one," she said.
I think the only time I ever moved faster to pick up something was during baseball season, but I swooped down on the now empty box faster than an eagle on a salmon in the river.
To say I was flustered would be putting it mild. To say I was stunned would be closer.
It wasn't quite rage, but if I was Bruce Banner, I would have been turning slightly green. (If you don't understand the reference, let me know.)
Here is the picture: no iPod, 4 "D" cell batteries, no manual, no headphones and no charger -- all inside a sealed box.
I called the store where I purchased the device and explained my story to the woman who answered the phone. I had to explain it again before she transferred me to the loss control officer at the store.
After explaining it another two times, the officer told me to bring everything back to the store and they would take care of it. I have to say that I was pretty impressed with myself for not raising my voice or losing my cool despite the number of times I had to repeat my story.
I will say that the store was very nice and quickly refunded my money. They didn't have another one in stock -- I'm not sure I would have accepted it anyway -- so I went searching for another Valentine's Day gift.
I stopped at the Apple Store in the Towson Town Center, where they had plenty in stock and I got one immediately. I told them the story about what had happened and they were still laughing about it as I walked out of the store.
There isn't any witty commentary on this one. This story is so incredible that it stands on its own. And yes, the events you have just read are true. No names were changed to protect anybody.
I'm a chiphead -- not a geek. I play video games. I have cool toys. I read comics online, but not just any comics. They talk about games, cartoons and things that take my mind away from the world of news. However, this one talks about how Warner Bros. plans on updating Bugs and Daffy to make them hipper and edgier. If they hadn't "sanitized for my protection" the cartoons that I grew up with, they wouldn't have this issue. Prior planning prevents poor performance -- so does caving to "save my children because I'm too busy to do it myself" groups. "I am the Grim Reaper. I don't have too go to school."
Touch 'em all with me, whether you agree with me or criticize me. I like the way you think! Tell me your opinion. Write to me or add a comment below and tell me what you think or if you want to join the ever-growing e-mail list to have my column delivered right to your inbox.
She opened it up on Valentine's Day, was shocked and happy, and happiness in the household was ensured. Plus, she really wanted one so I got the right gift.
A couple of days later, she actually opened the box. Now, understand that tech gifts like iPods are usually small and the boxes that contain them aren't that big at all.
So, imagine if you will, hearing a voice call to me from the other room, "Why are there batteries in the box?"
Batteries?? The device has an internal battery, but it isn't one that comes with batteries. In the eternal wisdom of men everywhere, I replied, "What do you mean -- batteries?"
"Come and see," she replied.
Sure enough. I walked into the room to see my wife holding an open box and 4 "D" cell batteries. Peculiar, I thought.
"Where is the iPod?" I asked.
"There isn't one," she said.
I think the only time I ever moved faster to pick up something was during baseball season, but I swooped down on the now empty box faster than an eagle on a salmon in the river.
To say I was flustered would be putting it mild. To say I was stunned would be closer.
It wasn't quite rage, but if I was Bruce Banner, I would have been turning slightly green. (If you don't understand the reference, let me know.)
Here is the picture: no iPod, 4 "D" cell batteries, no manual, no headphones and no charger -- all inside a sealed box.
I called the store where I purchased the device and explained my story to the woman who answered the phone. I had to explain it again before she transferred me to the loss control officer at the store.
After explaining it another two times, the officer told me to bring everything back to the store and they would take care of it. I have to say that I was pretty impressed with myself for not raising my voice or losing my cool despite the number of times I had to repeat my story.
I will say that the store was very nice and quickly refunded my money. They didn't have another one in stock -- I'm not sure I would have accepted it anyway -- so I went searching for another Valentine's Day gift.
I stopped at the Apple Store in the Towson Town Center, where they had plenty in stock and I got one immediately. I told them the story about what had happened and they were still laughing about it as I walked out of the store.
There isn't any witty commentary on this one. This story is so incredible that it stands on its own. And yes, the events you have just read are true. No names were changed to protect anybody.
I'm a chiphead -- not a geek. I play video games. I have cool toys. I read comics online, but not just any comics. They talk about games, cartoons and things that take my mind away from the world of news. However, this one talks about how Warner Bros. plans on updating Bugs and Daffy to make them hipper and edgier. If they hadn't "sanitized for my protection" the cartoons that I grew up with, they wouldn't have this issue. Prior planning prevents poor performance -- so does caving to "save my children because I'm too busy to do it myself" groups. "I am the Grim Reaper. I don't have too go to school."
Touch 'em all with me, whether you agree with me or criticize me. I like the way you think! Tell me your opinion. Write to me or add a comment below and tell me what you think or if you want to join the ever-growing e-mail list to have my column delivered right to your inbox.
Monday, February 14, 2005
The Cure Or The Disease?
Is the cure worse than the disease?
I'm taking medicine to treat a condition I have. One of the things the doctor told me about was the possible side effects. By taking this medicine at this particular dosage, I am putting my liver at risk.
The alternative is to allow my condition to roll merrily along and risk a serious heart incident -- I never use the word "attack".
So I keep taking the medicine and try to pay attention to the warning signs about possible liver damage. So far, everything is cooperating and my body is healthy, but it is quite the quandary.
I wonder if the Baltimore City government is going through the dilemma. A recent report showed that the city posted the bloodiest January since 1973. Thirty-two people were killed in the city during that month and 6 others were killed in early February.
Of those victims, 90 percent had criminal records and nearly 70 percent had been arrested for violent crimes. As health commissioner Dr. Peter Beilenson told The New York Times, "Baltimore is actually a very safe city if you are not involved in the drug trade."
When I shared this statistic with some friends, one of them said the numbers pleased them. By their rationalization, they said the police should let the bad guys knock each other off and there will be less crime all around.
The reactionary in me leaned toward agreeing with my friend. Anything to reduce crime and danger has to be good for us law-abiding citizens, right?
The scientist in me finds all kinds of flaws with the argument. As many downtown Baltimore homeowners can attest to, when you move bad guys out of one neighborhood, there are others who are willing and ready to step into the void.
One colleague of mine who lives in Federal Hill said he wouldn't mind if the police sectioned off the town and imposed "a kind of martial law" to get all the criminals out of his neighborhood. That seems to be an argument about personal freedoms versus security.
Baltimore City Mayor Martin O'Malley has been trying to reduce the number of homicides and the incidents of crime in the city since he was elected in 1999. The paradox of statistics shows that while the murder rate has been creeping back up in the past few years, officials said the overall crime rate is falling.
But the bigger problem with rising homicides is the act of revenge and grudges. As Beilenson told The Times, "Violence is very personal, because everyone knows everyone else or is a relative. If you shoot someone, the retribution will be fast and sure."
It is very cyclical and it is a cycle that needs to be broken. Whether the police can step in and stop the "personal" violence is difficult to say. They are trying with increase patrols and crackdowns in the most dangerous neighborhoods.
What is not acceptable is to allow the bad guys to kill each other off. This is not a guerrilla war, but there is collateral damage as doctors report people who are shot in the crossfire of bullets are victims who have nothing to do with the crime surrounding them.
I have lived in and around Baltimore for the last 7 years and spend nearly 14 years in Maryland before that. This is a proud and historic city with many vibrant neighborhoods and history that stretches back to the founding of our great nation.
I have never felt unsafe in my time here. I pay attention to my surroundings and don't put myself in bad situations.
The city needs to find a way to convince everyone -- good guys and bad guys -- that the bullets and blood mentality of some of our citizens needs to stop.
For the safety of everyone.
Happy Valentine's Day. Did you remember to get your sweetie something? I argue with people about virtual gifts. Virtual gifts and e-cards are a very nice way to let someone special know that you are thinking about them. However, if your special someone isn't tecno-savvy, you are signing your own "doghouse" card. Gifts should be personalized and make sense for the recipient, not the giver. Or you can do like I did and give a tech gift. I'll convert her yet. "For if I hold my tongue I'll never lose my voice"
Touch 'em all with me, whether you agree with me or criticize me. I like the way you think! Tell me your opinion. Write to me at lfrum@ibsys.com and tell me what you think or if you want to join the ever-growing e-mail list to have my column delivered right to your inbox.
Monday, February 07, 2005
Intruder Alert, Intruder Alert!
I'm here today to tell you there is no such thing as "just the flu."
The flu is a vile, foul and evil creature. It will beat you down, steal your wallet, spend your money on things like medicine and dance around you as it is doing it.
Despite what people wish for you when they find out you have the flu (take it easy and get some rest), they may as well have wished for a rocket ship to the moon. There is nothing easy about the flu and rest is totally out of the question.
I have been laid up with this nasty virus for almost a week now. Fever, aches, chills, coughs -- you name the symptom and I've got it. And then I get all the associated problems with that -- sore ribs from coughing, headaches from the fever, night sweats from the chills -- and I can understand why people dodge the flu as if it was the plague, only worse.
I'm a relatively intelligent person. It only took me a couple days of self-treatment (no weird home remedies, though) for me to realize I needed to go to the doctor. In reality, it took my wife an even shorter amount of time and she called the doctor for me.
My doctor looked in my ears ("they are filled with fluid"), took my temperature ("yep, you are running a fever"), looked down my throat ("pretty irritated down there") and proclaimed me sick with the flu. I walked out of the office with a list of instructions and three prescriptions.
You see, there is no way to actually treat the flu. You treat the symptoms. And since I had several symptoms, the medicines were going to attack them one at a time. There were two medicines to knock down the fever and deal with the aches, one to deal with the congestion, two to deal with the coughing and one more to help me sleep. I felt like I had a complete pharmacy running through my veins.
I think the worst part of it all has been the lack of sleep. Exhaustion always seems to make things worse. There has been a persistent fog inside my head and hallucinations were not out of the question. For example, I dreamed I was answering e-mails using mental telepathy -- except I wasn't asleep and my eyes were open. And some of these hallucinations may go on to star in their own horror movies.
Even my normally snuggly cats didn't want to have anything to do with me. They stayed away as much as possible and fled when I came shambling down the hallway. Honestly, if they didn't know me by smell, I swear they probably would have arched their backs and hissed at me or just knocked me over since they have more strength than I do right now.
However, all is not lost. The doctor said the flu usually runs its course in about 7 to 10 days. I'm nearing the end of my personal purgatory. And granted, this isn't even close to the worst thing that has ever happened to me.
But the next time someone gets the flu, they will have my sympathies and my distance. There is no way I want to get this again.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a wife who is starting to cough and get the chills. Here we go again.
Honestly, this is all I have dealt with this past week. I haven't paid attention to any news, sports, or anything that wasn't flu related. I know there was a State of the Union speech this week and I think I heard that the Pope got the flu too. For the record, I didn't give it to him. And I took two naps in the time it took me to write out this column. I admit it. I'm pretty pathetic. "I don't know. Fly casual."
Touch 'em all with me, whether you agree with me or criticize me. I like the way you think! Tell me your opinion. Write to me at lfrum@ibsys.com and tell me what you think or if you want to join the ever-growing e-mail list to have my column delivered right to your inbox.
The flu is a vile, foul and evil creature. It will beat you down, steal your wallet, spend your money on things like medicine and dance around you as it is doing it.
Despite what people wish for you when they find out you have the flu (take it easy and get some rest), they may as well have wished for a rocket ship to the moon. There is nothing easy about the flu and rest is totally out of the question.
I have been laid up with this nasty virus for almost a week now. Fever, aches, chills, coughs -- you name the symptom and I've got it. And then I get all the associated problems with that -- sore ribs from coughing, headaches from the fever, night sweats from the chills -- and I can understand why people dodge the flu as if it was the plague, only worse.
I'm a relatively intelligent person. It only took me a couple days of self-treatment (no weird home remedies, though) for me to realize I needed to go to the doctor. In reality, it took my wife an even shorter amount of time and she called the doctor for me.
My doctor looked in my ears ("they are filled with fluid"), took my temperature ("yep, you are running a fever"), looked down my throat ("pretty irritated down there") and proclaimed me sick with the flu. I walked out of the office with a list of instructions and three prescriptions.
You see, there is no way to actually treat the flu. You treat the symptoms. And since I had several symptoms, the medicines were going to attack them one at a time. There were two medicines to knock down the fever and deal with the aches, one to deal with the congestion, two to deal with the coughing and one more to help me sleep. I felt like I had a complete pharmacy running through my veins.
I think the worst part of it all has been the lack of sleep. Exhaustion always seems to make things worse. There has been a persistent fog inside my head and hallucinations were not out of the question. For example, I dreamed I was answering e-mails using mental telepathy -- except I wasn't asleep and my eyes were open. And some of these hallucinations may go on to star in their own horror movies.
Even my normally snuggly cats didn't want to have anything to do with me. They stayed away as much as possible and fled when I came shambling down the hallway. Honestly, if they didn't know me by smell, I swear they probably would have arched their backs and hissed at me or just knocked me over since they have more strength than I do right now.
However, all is not lost. The doctor said the flu usually runs its course in about 7 to 10 days. I'm nearing the end of my personal purgatory. And granted, this isn't even close to the worst thing that has ever happened to me.
But the next time someone gets the flu, they will have my sympathies and my distance. There is no way I want to get this again.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a wife who is starting to cough and get the chills. Here we go again.
Honestly, this is all I have dealt with this past week. I haven't paid attention to any news, sports, or anything that wasn't flu related. I know there was a State of the Union speech this week and I think I heard that the Pope got the flu too. For the record, I didn't give it to him. And I took two naps in the time it took me to write out this column. I admit it. I'm pretty pathetic. "I don't know. Fly casual."
Touch 'em all with me, whether you agree with me or criticize me. I like the way you think! Tell me your opinion. Write to me at lfrum@ibsys.com and tell me what you think or if you want to join the ever-growing e-mail list to have my column delivered right to your inbox.
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